Why Self-Kindness?
In my programs and 1:1 coaching, I’ve witnessed many mindset shifts, little ah-has, big epiphanies, greater fulfillment, plus fabulous pivots toward more "self-ful" routines and life-journeys.
Almost universally, there's a wily roadblock that initially gets in the way —
a lack of self-kindness.
Time and time again, we (particularly women, myself very much included) block our best life-journey intentions with self-judgment and self-criticism.
Before our life-journey pivots and epiphanies, we need to nourish our wellbeing with self-kindness.
To me, self-kindness is about giving ourselves the same grace and understanding that we give to our family and friends. It’s not the same as self-care, or self-indulgence for that matter.
In her 2021 book Fierce Self-Compassion, super-star psychologist and self-compassion researcher Dr. Kristin Neff describes
self-kindness as —
a warm, friendly, and supportive attitude toward ourselves as we wade through the mud of life.
If you’d like to nurture some self-kindness, I’ve made you a couple of graphics from Neff’s fab quote. Keep scrolling for download links and tips for how to use.
Coach’s tip —
Want to remember a new mindset or routine with absolutely no effort?
Design your sight lines!
Where do you look several times a day?
Who we kidding, a zillion times a day…
Your phone’s wallpaper is fabulous real estate for reinforcing fledgling mindsets and routines!
Coach’s tip —
Amplify self-kindness!
When you share an intention (like a self-kindness quote) on social media, you automatically increase your intention’s staying power.*
Post the quote to amplify your self-kindness vibes!
*Evidence-based studies have shown that sharing an intention with others creates a micro-dose of accountability.
Here’s a little more Dr. Neff wisdom. She sees self-kindness as a powerful comfort and curative to the challenges, big and small, we humans face —
“Our lives will inevitably involve struggle. But when we respond with benevolence and goodwill to our pain, we generate feelings of love and care that make a positive difference.
Self-kindness provides the resources to cope with hardship and makes it more bearable. It’s a rewarding and fulfilling emotion, the sweetness that counters the bitterness of life.”
— Dr. Kristin Neff, Fierce Self-Compassion, 2021
How Kind Are You… To Yourself?
I find it helpful to get the “lay of the land” before tackling a life-journey hurdle.
Neff’s self-compassion questionnaire might give you a better picture of your self-kindness strengths and growth areas.
Questionnaire results include a helpful breakdown of self-compassion supports and saboteurs including —
self-kindness vs. self-judgment
feeling isolated or connected with others
mindfulness vs. rumination and reactivity
CREATIVE WAYS TO NOURISH SELF-KINDNESS
Creativity and mindfulness can help you nourish self-kindness in your everyday life.
These small touches of intentional self-kindness can really make a big difference!
Doodle Your Heart of Loving Kindness
I like to “Doodletate©,” which is my word for a doodle-meditation combo.
I created this Heart of Loving-Kindness Doodletate© based on Buddhist meditations of loving-kindness. You harmonize the playful act of drawing hearts with some gentle breaths while saying these supportive, meditative words of loving kindness towards yourself –
May I be happy
May I be healthy
May I be at peace
May I be protected
May I be free from pain and suffering
May my heart be filled with love.
Combining these simple, caring actions deepens your somatic (body-based) self-kindness. As you sketch expanding heart doodles with every inhale-exhale, you both visualize and embody loving kindness deepening within.
Make a Self-Kindness Vivarta©
Schedule an online Creativity Workshop to make a Pocket-Guide for Self-Kindness Vivarta©.
Vivarta© are handmade life-journey gizmos that help you.
I lead women in supportive Vivarta© Creativity Workshops like the Pocket Guide, to tap into their creativity and explore a wellbeing or life-journey morsel they are working on, like self-kindness!
Check out my companion blog post, “5 Creative Ways to Nourish Self-Kindness” for more easy, quick practices you can implement today.
Thank you for exploring Art Well 4 Life. Whether you’re —
• looking to move towards joy and fulfillment, just a smidge… or
• itching to recalibrate your identity and move into a new phase of life… or
• grappling with executive functioning issues/ ADHD…
I’m here to support you! When you’re ready, schedule a 15 minute complementary chat. It’s free with no strings or hard sell. Here’s my calendar link.
In creativity and service,
Suzanne Wright, MA
Artist • Certified Life Coach
ADHD and Creativity Coach
Educator for Visual Arts and Wellbeing
Founder, Art Well 4 Life, LLC
Schedule a complementary conversation
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